Country Bumpkin

You Might Be From a Small Town If:

You can name everyone you graduated with.

You get a whiff of manure and think of home.

You know what 4-H is.

You ever went to “headlight parties.”

You used to drag “main.”

You said the ‘f’ word and your parents knew within the hour.

You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t.

You ever went cow-tipping.

School gets cancelled for state sporting events.

You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough they’d tell your parents anyhow).

When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.

You were ever in the Homecoming parade.

You have ever gone home for Homecoming.

You fix up to go buy milk lest anyone starts the rumor that you have gained weight or quit taking care of youself.

No place sells gas on Sunday.

Friday nights fun consisted of standing in line for the one screen theater and since it was sold out, watching truckers and drinking coffee at the truck stop (the only place open after 10).

You have to drive an hour to buy a pair of socks.

It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

You ordered your waredrobe out of a catalog.

You had senior skip day.

The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

You don’t give directions by street names or house numbers, but you give directions by references (turn by Marty’s house, go two blocks past Sanderson’, and it’s four houses left of the track field).

Sent by Jim

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