Fair Ladies and Noble Gentlemen:
I, RaPUNzel, have a HAIR-raising tale to SHEAR with you written by the Brothers TRIMM.
When I was a young CURL, a jealous queen LOCKed me in a tower.
I was STRANDed and was at my SPLITS END — truly a damsel in THESE TRESSES!
The queen thought it was a PERMANENT SOLUTION but, day after day, knight after knight would try to climb the tower, which was so tall the FOLLICLE you!
They would climb my BRAID, and if they weren’t so handsome, I would give them the BRUSH off.
Gee, I wonder if that’s where I got my reputation for being such a big TEASE.
One day, a handsome knight named Prince LATHERRINSE tried to rescue me.
He was HEAD & SHOULDERS above the rest.
I said, “COMB and SHAVE me!”
The queen found out about it and cut off my hair.
And let me tell you, Hell hath no fury as a woman SHORNED!
She’ll have H e l l TOUPEE because I am not someone to TANGLE with.
Prince Latherrinse WISPed me away and we got married and had twins.
But, we didn’t live happily ever after because he placed too many CONDITIONERS on our marriage, which were really CRIMPING my STYLE.
So, we PARTED ways and a custody battle ensued.
It came down to SPLITTING HAIRS (heirs) so he took one twin and I took the other.
So, now I don’t date princes anymore because I don’t want a LATHER RINSE REPEAT… (read the shampoo label).
And I’ve gotten back to my ROOTS by changing my hair from BLONDE to brown and this new color is to DYE for.
After all, BRUNETTES have more pun.
Well, that’s the LONG AND SHORT of my HAIRY tale.
I bid you all ADO!
Sent by B