Prescriptions For Women

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 fullhours.

ST. MOMMA’S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering pre-schoolersunconscious for up to two days.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by remindingyou of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowedbefore an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage andthe urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, “You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?”.

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by man who can’t remember you birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the sameirritation level as nagging him.

Sent by CS

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