Redneck Medical Dictionary

Artery……………………. The study of paintings
Bacteria………………….. Back door to cafeteria
Barium…………………… What doctors do when patients die
Benign…………………… What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section…….. A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan…………………… Searching for Kitty
Cauterize…………………. Made eye contact with her
Colic…………………….. A sheep dog
Coma……………………… A punctuation mark
Dilate……………………. To live long
Enema……………………..Not a friend
Fester……………………. Quicker than someone else
Fibula……………………. A small lie
Impotent…………………..Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain………………. Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff…………….. A Doctor’s cane
Morbid……………………. A higher offer
Nitrates………………….. Cheaper than day rates
Node……………………… I knew it
Outpatient………………… A person who has fainted
Pelvis……………………. Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative………… A letter carrier
Recovery Room………. Place to do upholstery
Rectum……………………. Nearly killed him
Secretion…………………. Hiding something
Seizure…………………… Roman emperor
Tablet……………………. A small table
Terminal Illness………… Getting sick at the airport
Tumor…………………… One plus one more
Urine…………………….. Opposite of you’re out

Sent by Gerry G

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