Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds”.
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. “How long will this take?” I asked.
“They will grow larger over a period of years, my husband replies.
“Do you rea lly think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?”
Without missing a beat he says, ” Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”
He’s still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man.